Okay, so this is like my bazillionth time trying to lose weight. I wish I had an accurate count, but if we go by all the weight loss books I have (South Beach Diet, Atkins Diet, 5 Factor Diet, Beck Diet, etc.) and my 3 independent joinings of Weight Watchers, we can lowball it at about 8. But it's been more than that. I've had several Friday epiphanies while eating a double cheeseburger, fries and a milkshake that "Day 1 starts on Monday!" only to find myself at Coney Island by lunchtime on MONDAY. Don't get me wrong, all of the diets I mentioned have great premises. But they all require you to actually follow them, which is the problem that I had. HAD being the key word in that last sentence. I am proud to say that for 8 days now, I have consciously thought about every single thing I have consumed. Gum, mints, entrees, desert, EVERYTHING. Is it exhausting? Yes. Is it annoying? Yes. Is it worth it? Hell yes! I have lost a total of 10 pounds since last week and I'm not on a liquid diet or anything extreme. I am just thinking and planning versus eating whatever I want. And let me tell you, I don't WANT anything healthy. I WANT hamburgers, fries, brownies, sausage mcmuffins, tacos, lasagna, etc. I could go a week without eating a vegetable that wasn't fried. So its probably a mystery how I've gotten to this point, huh?
So what was my turning point, you may ask? Well I discovered that my weight is getting in the way of things I want to accomplish. Well that may not be entirely true, but me THINKING about my weight is getting in my own way. I've never been particulary shy about approaching someone I have interest in and striking up a conversation; now I find myself sucking my gut in and hoping he doesn't look down at my thighs. I've been officially single for about a year now - longer if you count the half-assed relationship I pretended to have with my ex the first part of last year. It's been very intentional, though. I wanted to make sure I had all of that out of my system - the urge to revisit the past, the willingness to simply "settle" for things that I knew wouldn't work in the end, the comfort of convenience. So now that I feel that I can be open and inviting to new suitors, I find that I've gained weight on top of weight I already wanted to lose when I first started my dating hiatus. Dammit, how did I let that happen? Well, I stopped smoking and that put on about 20 pounds within a few months. And then I added 10 more for good measure (ever the overachiever!).
What are my goals? Well if we go with the typical "I want to get back to the weight I was in high school", my goal would be about 100 pounds. OMG, YOU NEED TO LOSE 100 POUNDS? HOW WILL YOU EVER DO IT? Okay, no one has actually said this to me but I figure someone is thinking it. Well I'm going to do like a good little addict and take it one day at a time. Hopefully, some of this stuff will become automatic eventually and it will get a little easier. If not, I'm cool with focusing like I've been doing the past week for as long as it takes because this is MY LAST TIME DOING THIS! I'm not saying I'll never need to lose weight again - I don't have any kids, so I very may well meet the man of my dreams and pop out a baby or two. And then I'm sure I will gain the pregnancy weight every woman does and I'll have to do this again. But it won't be 100 pounds, probably more like 20 or 30. And by then, I'll be a pro at losing a little amount like that, lol. Anywhoo, my long-term goal is 100, but for now, I'm going to focus on this 30 I gained over the past year that I feel should fall off relatively quickly since I gained it quickly. I'm giving myself 3 months, so that would be October 9th that I need to lose that by. Considering I lost 10 pounds in my first week, that should be a piece of cake! I'm thinking, from things I've read, that it's mostly water weight though and these next 10 won't be so easy...
I'll give you more background on me and details on what I'm doing next week. For now, thanks for the support!
Goals for the week: Aim to eat between 1400 and 1600 calories every day and workout 4 times before Monday.
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