19 pounds down!

So according to my first official start date, it's been 9 weeks, but since I backslide after losing my initial 10 pounds, it's actually taken me about 6 weeks to lose 19 pounds. So that's approximately 3 pounds a week (or 2 pounds if you count from the actual beginning). I came up with this not so eloquent quote - "The struggle is real, every day". It just describes this process to a T. I mean, you have to literally think about what you are eating, how it's affecting you and counting calories EVERY SINGLE DAY! Yes, some days are easier than others, planning makes the most difference, and your craving eventually subside, but it is still a PROCESS. I never thought about food this much when I was eating whatever I wanted, lol. Isn't that the irony of it? When I was eating at restaurants every day for lunch and eating fast food 4-5 times a week, I almost never thought about food how I do now. When I felt my stomach rumble, it was like "Mmm, what sounds good today?" and then I would proceed to eat whatever that was, in whatever amount until I felt full. Now, when my stomach rumbles, I'm like "what have I planned to eat for this meal?" or "damn, I don't have anything healthy around - where can I go and what can I eat that will not blow my calorie budget?". That last scenario is the absolute worst since most last minute decision equate large amounts of guilt when pressing "Complete Entry" on myfitnesspal at the end of the night. Lessons learned, you ask? Well here you go!

Lesson 1 - PLAN, PLAN, PLAN when you can. Because there will be times when you're hungry and you're stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time. When you've stayed out longer than expected, without a healthy snack and McDonald's fries are calling your name. Or you go to visit a friend and someone comes in with a meaty pizza and fresh bread. Or when you're drinking and lose all self control and crave White Castle. These things WILL HAPPEN no matter how much you plan, so when you can have complete control, take advantage! My best eating happens at work. I have a very rigid schedule while there (which I'll detail later in here) and easy access to a fridge and microwave, so I very rarely go off track there. It's in the world-at-large that tempatations tend to take a hold. Steinbeck said it best "The best laid plans of mice and men, oftentimes go astray".

Lesson 2 - WORK UP A BLACK SWEAT. That "black sweat" part is an homage to Prince, who I love with all my heart. In my other attempts at weight loss, I used working out as a crutch. It was an excuse to have that double cheeseburger and fries or a vanilla shake that I wanted. It was easier for me to work out than it was for me to resist food. Now, I use it in a similar capacity but I don't eat bad JUST BECAUSE I work out. I use it for those times I talked about in Lesson 1, when you lose control no matter your intentions or plans. In these past few weeks, I don't think there is one time when I've consciously eaten something because I worked out and burned X amount of calories. But working out definitely provides me a buffer for when I've stayed up too late and now need popcorn, or when I get some custard that I thought was fat free but isn't. Also, now that I am super focused on my weight loss, working out definitely helps speed up the process! When I am eating right AND working out 5 days a week, I can really put a dent in my numbers. So get moving!

Lesson 3 - TRY NEW FOODS (or old foods that you stopped eating  because there were tastier fattening foods to eat). I am ashamed to admit it, but I could go days, maybe even weeks, without eating a vegetable. I've always been a fan of fruits, so it would not be strange for me to eat an apple, grapes, orange or something of the like on a semi-regular basis. But a veggie? Fugetaboutit! Broccoli? Yuck, give me some fries. Spinach? Naw, I'll take some rice, please. I was all about a meat and a carb for every meal and vegetables were an afterthought. Now that I am limiting my carbs (my friend and I joke about frivolous bread), I was desperate for something to round out my meal. Oh, so THIS is what people were using veggies for? [DISCLAIMER - Please try not to blame my childhood for this - my mother was very diligent in preparing veggies with every meal and making me eat them. I deviated from this on my own.] So now, I'm making my own salads, and instead of just lettuce, cheese and croutons, I am adding cucumbers, sliced carrots, almonds/sunflower seeds, and getting fulfilled off of it too! I am adding bananas to my smoothies (since I still don't like bananas as a stand-alone fruit). I've also tried new fruits, eaten beans, and I'm currently 3 days into a random vegetarian eating mode, lol. Before 3 days ago, I had NEVER GONE ONE SINGLE SOLITARY DAY WITHOUT EATING MEAT. So this is pretty revolutionary. I'm not really putting a limit on it (5 days, 2 weeks, etc.) since I'm pretty sure it's temporary. But hey, let's see how long I can go!

Lesson 4 - LEARN WHY YOU USED TO EAT BADLY AND ADDRESS THAT ISSUE IMMEDIATELY! As painful as it may be, you HAVE to learn WHY you were eating so badly before. Do you have an emotional connection to food? Are you not educated on what foods are good and bad for you? Were you raised on a certain way of eating and are just continuing the cycle? All of reasons can be solved but it would take different resolutions. If you have an emotional connection to food where you're eating when you're happy or eating is making you happy, or you overeat when you're sad, you may need to see a therapist. About a week into my plan, I discovered I had an unhealthy relationship to food. I wasn't hoarding food under my bed or stashing candy bars in my car, but I definitely had overwhelming cravings to unhealthy foods and had a real problem when I was denied these cravings. Also, eating bad foods would make me happy. Not that I am unhappy in my regular life, it would just give me kind of a high or a sense of satisfaction like "yes! that was the ticket. mmmhmm good!" kinda thing. So I didn't see a therapist, but I did get some books from the libary on mindful eating and learned that I had a problem and am working towards overcoming it completely. I'm not sure if anyone is ever COMPLETELY cured, but I'm hoping one day, food won't be such a scary thing anymore.

Okay, so those are my major lessons from the past 6 weeks. Nothing revolutionary here, but after a lot of research, a lot of soul searching, and a lot of food rejecting, these are the things that have been MY biggest hurdles. So now you might ask, what have you been doing to lose weight? Well, big picture, I've been logging my food on an app on my phone called "myfitnesspal". This helps me know what I've eaten each day of each week and is a well used app in the diet community. I've also been exercising 3-5 days a week. For the past 2 weeks, it's been 5 days and I have to do them all in a row because I work 12 hours on Tuesday and Wednesday and can't seem to get out of bed early enough. Here are the specifics:

Typical Day

8 am - Smoothie (strawberries, 1/2 banana, spinach, oatmeal powder (I hate the taste of protein powder so I blend oatmeal and use 1 scoop), 1/2 pack of Crystal Light Wild Strawberry (I know I need to move to a natural sweeter but I'm not there yet) and 1 cube of ice

10-11 am - Snack. Usually fruit, like watermelon, or a Chobani yogurt

12-1 pm - Lunch - Lean Cuisine, Smart Ones, or a sandwich (low carb pita bread, 3 slices of ham or turkey, 1 slice of reduced fat cheese, banana peppers, light mayo, honey mustard, lettuce) and a salad (either the one I detailed above or a simple side salad with lettuce, cucumber, 1 egg, cheese)

3-4 pm - Snack. If I haven't had a yogurt yet, I'll eat it here. Maybe a Green Giant veggie steamer. Maybe some almonds. Just kinda depends on what I feel like but I always keep my options open to only healthy items.

5ish-6ish pm - Workout. I've recently increased my cardio workouts to 45 minutes on the Arc Trainer at Planet Fitness (similar to the elliptical) but I started at just 30 minutes. It's not that I couldn't do more; I've been fairly active my whole life. I just felt I could only COMMIT to 30 mins in the gym and that I could rationalize going more frequently if I thought I would be in and out, including a clothes change, in 40-45 minutes. Now, I have a calorie burned goal of 650 and won't leave the machine until I reach it, which is normally between 40-45 minutes. I know that the estimated calorie goal on the machines can be inflated, so I am probably only burning about 550-600 actual calories, but guess what? IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER BECAUSE I AM NOT EATING THEM BACK UP FOR DINNER! Sorry for the caps, but that is really is a milestone for me :)

7 pm - Dinner. Now here's where things can get tricky and where that planning comes in. My ideal dinner is baked catfish (garlic powder, paprika, a few dashes of cinnamon, pepper, a little sea salt) and veggies. If I've done well all day, I'll replace or add to the veggies with some baked sweet potato fries (Yes, the ones by Ore Ida. Yes, I'm working on replacing them with cut-up sweet potatoes from scratch) But, I can fall victim to temptation and may have a homemade burger, grilled chicken wings, spaghetti (made with ground turkey and whole wheat pasta), tacos (made with turkey meat) and any other combination of things that tempt me. BUT I have done relatively well with sticking with things homemade and not eating take out, fast food or anything else like that. Because as Erika (blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com) has taught me, making it at home is ALWAYS more healthy than eating take out.

Dessert - I didn't put a timeline on this since I kinda eat dessert when I feel like it. For a chocolate addict like me, I have found that Hershey Kisses - Dark Chocolate works the best for me to reduce my cravings. You can have 9 for 180 calories and I usually spread them throughout the day as my cravings hit. So I may have 4 or 5 for lunch and then 4 right before bed. It just depends; I haven't had any for the past few days, so they are just my crutch in case things get real!

And there you have it! That's what I have been doing (or not doing for those first few weeks when I fell off the wagon) to lose 19 pounds. I recently joined a weight loss blog on FB that has a September Smoothie Challenge. You are to make 2 smoothies a day using only natural ingredients. This is what has prompted this impromptu vegetarian kick; drinking the smoothies is really filling and I really only have to worry about lunch, so I've been eating either a monster salad or a Smart Ones Cheese Ravioli for lunch and a veggie/rice combo or smoothie for dinner. Like I said, I have no timeline on this and fully expect to turn back to my precious meat sooner than later, but I'm enjoying the challenge of finding different kinds of foods to satisfy me.

Till next time!

P.S. I just realized that the last time I blogged, I had lost 10 pounds. Maybe I'll do a post for every 10 with lessons learned and a typical day. Just a thought...

UPDATE: I just re-read my first blog post and saw that I wanted to lose 30 pounds by October 9th, so I am still on track for that, even though I fell off the wagon! It's that black sweat, I tell ya! I have a birthday goal too, but we'll save that reveal for the next post...